pull on the trigger and the nightmare stops

college rules.

Mon, 06 Sep 2004 05:44:09 GMT

so yes... college rules.

but i dont think im going to write in this thing anymore. i really dont have too much time. but ill keep it so i can comment and whatnot on your journals. ya know?

everytime i look for you the sun goes down

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 18:00:15 GMT

well i am getting ready to take off for college in a few days. a world of fun! i wont write again until i am all settled in there and what not. which could be a week or two or more.

wish me luck!

mean

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 06:52:55 GMT

so everyone says that im being mean lately. ugh this is not what i want to happen less than a week before i leave for almost forever. damnit i dont know.

haha.

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 02:12:28 GMT

whenever jessica and summer get together all they do is sit there become amused by various things around us and laugh... literally. and i laugh because sometimes jess snorts and summer makes this honking noise. i squeak when i laugh. yes all three of us are very interesting laughers i should say. i wish i didnt have to go to college. i wish i could sit on the floor with some cherry coke and dr. pepper and just laugh with summer and jess and forever until i die and never have to do anything else.

for reals.

achooo

Sun, 08 Aug 2004 06:56:02 GMT

today was sweet pretty much, we had a bbq at jess's...
chad, buddha, thad, summer, darin, jazzy, kyle, andy, nicko, me & jess all were there.
and we shook our groove thing to the backstreet boys and jessicas little neighboors hated us until they started to love us. (which was when we fed them).
hmm.. college in 10 days. i know 10 DAYS that is sooo incredible.

effit

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 06:49:51 GMT

i dont feel good... its like all my friends are against me.
chad and buddha and jess are all against me at the moment.
i hate it and i want to fix it but what can i do?
okey to be honest, i never actually ASKED them if they were mad, i just assumed.

guys... are you mad at me?

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 06:21:26 GMT

SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL ME.

Buddha
Chad
Summer
Thadima
Kyle
Darin

SOMEBODY this is so urgent!

call me a safe bet

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 17:45:48 GMT

this could be a very amusing story to add to the jessica collection.

yeah.

so we all (me, jess, chad, buddha, darin, summer) went to shari's at 2 in the morning which is a mistake in itself. and this guy is standing right by where we parked and he LIKES jessica. (now jess was holding a back of skittles in her hand, this is a very important detail).

and this guy, who is actually pretty good looking and he looks about our age, is hitting on jess hardcore and she isnt liking it all. he was saying things like "oh you are so beautiful i would love to be with a girl who looks like you." anyway she tells him to "fuck off" and the she isn't interested and then guess what!

this guy GRABS the skittles out of her hand and runs away!!

jess chased him for about 15 seconds around the parking lot and when she caught up with him she tackled him on the ground and started wrestling him for her skittles. it wasnt violent wrestling, just nice wrestling i guess. she finally won and got away and he just layed there on the ground for a while as we went into shari's and had a good old time.

the end.

what a day

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 06:26:15 GMT

well fuck you too.

chad is home!! yay!!
corey bought a jock strap o.O
i made jessica kinda happy.
and I made 120 bucks for babysitting some animals.

well theres a triumph.
added another cd to my collection.
obssesion maybe.
i cant make everyone happy.
and i only make people that i love happy.

pete is back too.

what a day.

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 02:51:46 GMT

man, i hate it i need to hurry and be in college.

to: jess

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 04:45:59 GMT

i think the most amazing thing about jessica is that she has a serious boyfriend who she is completely devoted to, but she is still completely there for me too. i needed her last night, REALLY needed her. it was 2 in the morning and she was about to go to sharis with josh, but instead, she let me come over and we ate pizza on her bedroom floor and just talked, for hours... until the sun came up. she was there, she has always been there. jess, i love you... you are my best friend and you are beautiful in every way possible.

have you ever

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 18:07:51 GMT

have you ever wondered which hurts the most?

saying something and wishing you hadnt? or saying nothing and wishing you had? i guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 15:48:57 GMT

i figured out the name for this feeling...

love

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 19:05:02 GMT

corey is really rad.

i can talk to him, that's something new.

not that i can't talk to other people. i just usually can't to boy people.

yea

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 19:01:42 GMT

i should be at warped.

oh well.

corey and i have a date, and that's the coolness.

a date

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 23:00:24 GMT

we are going to set up a date. an actual date.

just me and him doing what we both wanna do.

something special and nice.

just have to find the time.

yeah

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 06:27:39 GMT

4th of july was a boomin good time! wahoooo

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 07:26:48 GMT

i realized that one of my favorite people to be around is jazzy. which is fortunate because she happens to be buddhas girlfriend. she's all cool and stuff.

if i could have one talent in the world i would want to be a singer. sorry. random tangent type thing. summer sings and she is amazing. deep sigh.

milky nose!!!!!

Thu, 01 Jul 2004 01:48:06 GMT

HAHAHA!

today while me, jess, darin, buddha, thadima, summer, kyle, were all at chads house summer laughed so hard that milk came out of her nose. and when she wouldnt stop laughing she started to choke and it was scary until we realized that she indeed was not going to die, so we just let her choke.

milk out the nose? i thought things like that only happened in the movies.

wooop!

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 20:57:13 GMT

well i got through the whole registration process. it was awesome and the campus is wonderful and amazing! i think im going to find a husband there, ha! i got my classes and my schedule... i have three classes the first term which is 15 credits. yeah! im so excited now that everything is coming together for me.

val and i decided that our "relationship" isnt really getting anywhere. not to mention im leaving in 2.5 months for a place called college! im a little disappointed but i think everything is going to work out. im stoked to start a new life.

annnnnd in other, better, cooler news, i lost my hair virginity. ive been alive for 18 years and ive never colored my hair, EVER! sop i sat down in lucy's (my hair lady's) chair and told her to do something unboring with it. and she did! and i think it looks so hot! maybe i am just biased? here is my hot hair!

okay so you cant really see it and it doesnt look all the hot but oh well... its my hair!

im in such an awesome mood right now and i cant figure out why. i think its the excitement of college and ending a good relationship on a good note and having cool unboring hair.... im gonna go to jess's for a coooool bbq. SO rad

some please save us, us college kids

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 05:51:39 GMT

im leaving for nevada to go register at unlv.

summers going with me. WHEEEE im going to be a college kid

i dont know who i am but i dont want to be her anymore

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 02:48:19 GMT

i know i complained about it being hot but this is fucking ridiculous. im shivering my ass off and NOW the air conditioner decides to work in my room...of course you cant feel a lot of it (thankfully) unless you stick your hand under the dresser which is sitting in front of it but its like sticking your hand in a freezer. bloody fucking hell. shit im so irritable lately...like, even more than my normal bitchyness. i dont think they even have a word for this its just, shit, fucking ass. i feel like ripping out my hair and screeming at the top of my lungs for no apperent reason. shit, how much longer will this last?

(excuse my language)

june 17th 2002

Thu, 17 Jun 2004 17:26:48 GMT

well its june 17. some people who have grown close to me in the past two years know what this day is to me. pete and i started dating on june 17, 2002 and today would be two years.

this isn't going to be some stupid post about how much i still miss him, but the truth is, i do, and now that we dont have our time at school to share with each other im worried more than anything that i will never get to sit down with him and talk, really talk. about the world, about cafeteria food, about music, whatever.

im going to make every possible effort i can to try and see him at least once today. i should start by calling him, but first i need to get rid of this lump in my throat...

britt fought buddha, and britt won!

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 06:10:25 GMT

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 06:02:18 GMT

im afraid that i need a guy to approve of me. that i need that approval. that without it i feel so cast away, forgotten. i never wanted that to be who i was. i never wanted to need someone to care about me. i wanted to be the one who could go on forever, who didnt give a shit what people thought about her. if you dont like who i am, then screw you, theres nothing you can do to change me. thats the attitude i wanted to have. it still is.